he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
