That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize