Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
