Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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