i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My liver just had a heart attack.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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