dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
