Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
