For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
