I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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