i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize