How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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