She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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