So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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