I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize