and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
There r osticjed everywhere
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
