the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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