dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just high enough for therapy.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
