I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize