Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
