i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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