My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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