this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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