why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
