Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize