I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
