wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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