Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
