so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
