is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
