My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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