he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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