She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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