Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
