If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
