Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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