yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
