Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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