what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
