Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
