oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
