no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There's always time for handjobs
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
