Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize