for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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