This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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