There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
