if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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