Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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