Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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