Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
