she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
