You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
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