if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
