everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
