I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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