Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
