So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
