I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
