She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
