I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
