First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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