New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
