Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
