next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
