I bet he comes in French.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
