After last night, I could never be a politician.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
